Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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