she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
