Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Randomize
