we're blogging at a bar
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
