well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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