Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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