You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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