I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
