i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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