I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
