i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
