He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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