How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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