FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
