at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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