She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
