Sry I called you an 8
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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