Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
