I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
