I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
