i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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