Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
