I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
