Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
worst night to have a conscience
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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