I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
