There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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