Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize