I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
