VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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