I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
