dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
