He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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