physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
They are going to name an STD after you.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
