u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
