i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
operation harelip BJ is a go
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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