Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
