new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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