Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
