At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
