it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
