Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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