You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
