i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
