his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
