he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i just google imaged poop.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
