every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
she pinky promised me she was 18
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
