Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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