had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
