Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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