Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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