Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
